I grew up believing that life was full of disappointment. It seemed that everyone around me let me down in one form or another. This belief has created chaos in all aspects of my life, and in all of my relationships. Until one day I had a major “aha moment”.
I began to ask myself, how is it that everyone around me behaves the same way leaving me let down, time after time. Everyone in my life is a completely different person, with completely different personality traits. Maybe it’s not them, I began to think, maybe it’s me creating this behaviour from them. I pondered these thoughts for quite some time. I really do believe that our thoughts shape our reality. I guess that I never realized that my thoughts had the power to create how someone interacted with me.
After I had been disappointed many times as a child, I adopted a belief system that began to be set in stone. That belief system was that everyone is going to abandon, disappoint, or let me down in some form every time. Well, if that isn’t enough to set me up for failure in all of my relationships throughout my life, I don’t know what is! Time for a belief reboot!
I met the most amazing and wonderful man several years ago. I almost pushed him away because of the belief systems I had, assuming that he was no different from the rest of the people that had let me down in the past. There was something very different about him. He was so kind hearted, supportive, reassuring, loving, and an all around awesome person. He helped to breakdown the walls that I had built around me. But that is only half of the story.
The next step was to replace the old negative belief system with something that would serve me on a more positive level. I really began to acknowledge that the only reason that people had disappointed me my whole life was because I placed such high expectations on them. What if I didn’t expect anything from anyone outside of myself, what would happen then? I also knew that I couldn’t control anyone’s actions or thoughts, or even their behaviours…so why was I even trying?
It is still a work in progress, and a total thought overhaul, but my new “no expectations” choice as a way of life seems to be working for me. I don’t take others behaviours, actions or words directed at me as personally as I once did. I realize that others behaviours have everything to do with them, and nothing whatsoever to do with me. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t have expectations about myself…I do. I still have dreams that I expect to have fulfilled, but I don’t put expectations on how they will arrive. I place my order to the universe and allow the wisdom and the glory of it to unfold in it’s perfect timing. My motto: act, speak, and think with love…and no expectations.