I was given this curious little question as I woke up this morning. I remember growing up and going to church as a child. I would listen to the minister give his sermon about us horrible sinners, and how we must repent all of our horribleness. The fire and brimstone stuff that movies are made of seemed pretty scary at the time. Now that I see through all of the constraints, brain washing and control issues that are very much a part of organized religion, I decided to look up the meaning of purgatory. I figured that maybe my spiritual team was offering me a different perspective on this topic. Well, lo and behold, I was right.
As a noun, purgatory means:”(in Roman Catholic doctrine) a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven”. Same old, same old stuff, right??? But then, we use it as an adjective, and everything changes. Then purgatory means:”having the quality of cleansing or purifying”. AHA!!!
My spiritual team has always had a wonderful sense of humour, as I am currently in the midst of pure and complete purgatory. It all started about three weeks ago. I began having deep, intense, and overwhelming pain in my legs. The pain would start up at my hips and deep inside the joints and muscles. The pain would then radiate down my legs to my knees, shins, and then to my feet. It would come at anytime throughout the day or night. Along with these pains, there would also arise a tremendous feeling of dread or fear. My abdomen would feel like there was ice buried within it, and a feeling of oscillation of energy would accompany this fear. I knew that I was being “dredged” or “purged” of all fear that had no purpose. I knew that the only thing that I could do was to surrender and align myself with this energy. I have a deep compassion for anyone with I.B.S., because I found myself making many a scurried visit to the closest washroom. Wherever I go, I am always on the lookout for the closest facilities…just in case. When the pains first started, I went to see a physiotherapist to see what impact physio treatment would have on my current physical challenges. Well, apparently none is the answer to that question. My symptoms also stumped the hell out my physiotherapist, since my symptoms would vary from visit to visit. I began telling him about my beliefs, that every symptom has an emotional root. He is a very progressive therapist, because he believed that as well. After three treatments with him, and no real success, I told him that I was going to go it on my own. I continue to do the strengthening exercises that he recommended for my general core strength and well-being, which do help with balance and flexibility.
I woke up this morning feeling different. My legs feel almost pain-free, except for a little in my right hip. What a difference! I am sure that last weeks amazing full moon eclipse had something to do with it. The energy really built up into a crescendo as the full moon approached, and then I felt a huge release as it passed. It was very much like a balloon that was being filled with air, and then suddenly bursting when it had reached it’s climactic fullness. All I know is that it has left great change in it’s wake. I am never afraid to purge, since I know that moments of discomfort and pain all inevitably lead to emotional blessings in my life. Bring it on! Carry me forward in the waves of love that bring me closer to our new world, and heaven on earth.