I Am My Own Great Grandmother

Have you ever felt like you have bitten off more than you can possibly hope to chew, much less swallow? I have opened a door that has never been opened before, and I am face to face with centuries worth of skeletons.

I have been getting inner nudges from deep within me to delve into my family history. There wasn’t any particular reason that I was aware of when I began this journey through my bloodline mere weeks ago. I figured that maybe it was because I was in my 5th decade on this planet, and the last person who could give me any answers was my 85 year old father. My father is the last living relative I have any contact with that could help me with family names, faces and stories. For the most part, my family has never been that closely bonded. Some family members are a distant recollection from somewhere in childhood, some just names without faces, while others are a total mystery since I didn’t know that they existed at all. And so began the journey of discovery. I suppose I was hoping to discover a little more about myself along the way. To learn more about why I am the way I am. Well, I got much more then I could have ever imagined!

I figured the easiest way to go hunting for relatives long since passed away, was on ancestry.ca. I have to admit that this website has made family research a breeze! I knew nothing about my great grandparents at all except their names, but ancestry helped me to put the puzzle pieces together easily and quickly. Before too long, I was as far back as my 6th great grandmother and grandfather on both sides. That’s when everything started to change, and get really, really bizarre. Certain names in particular would stand out for me. When I saw these particular names, an odd feeling would come over me, a familiarity to them was definitely apparent. I would often get flashes of memories, or see faces that I could put to the names. I would also get a sense of their personality, and see the world through their unique eyes. How can this be!?!? I had never met these relatives, how could I when they have been gone for ages? Then the dreams started. Almost every night now, I have had dreams about one relative after another. Most dreams are about the deeds they had done during their lifetime, and I can tell you that they are mostly black sheep, if you know what I mean. I realized without a shadow of a doubt that I was each and everyone of them in that lifetime.

I began to allow these relatives to speak to me through my dreams. I decided to make an attempt at addressing and healing the woes found in my family tree, and perhaps to finally lay to rest those skeletons laying about. I went into a meditation and called upon all of my relatives to join me there. It became quite a party with some pretty interesting characters attending. I also asked many angels and ascended masters to assist in the “party planning”. I started by giving a verbal message to them to let them know why I had summoned them to the family reunion. I explained that the reunion was to heal the wounds within the family and allow for love, compassion and forgiveness to reign. It was interesting to watch the reaction of the attendees, as some got the message immediately and simply faded from view. Others required more time and help from the angels, as they were gifted with loving and healing energies, but after time they also faded from view. The relatives that were left at the end  were the harder nuts to crack, and that required much self-love and forgiveness on their behalf and mine. It took quite some time and energy devoted to the few that remained, but they too finally began to fade from view.

The next day I did a follow up meditation to see what branches on my family tree needed attending to, or pruning, as the case may be. What I saw startled me to say the least. All of my relatives were back, but this time each one had their inner child with them sitting at their feet! My relatives didn’t seem to notice their inner child there with them, that is until many of these children started wailing or screaming  at the top of their lungs. These inner children were not going to be ignored any longer it appeared! As soon as the adult relatives began to give their inner children the attention that they needed and deserved, their inner child integrated with them completely. It was astonishing to watch, and it seemed to happen almost effortlessly! I now know that my own inner child work has made a huge difference throughout my entire family history, seeing how quickly the process happened during the reunion.

Diving into my ancestry had shown me how our soul is woven in and out of time and place. I am my own great grandmother the immigrant, my own 6x great grandfather the Mennonite bishop, my own 18x great grandmother the witch and healer, and even those serf lords way back in history. I can also weave my light, love and forgiveness for self or others through the tapestry that is my past, present and future, since discovering that the only time that exists is NOW. It has been wonderful to find out that I have lived in so many places on this amazing  earth, from Switzerland and Germany to Belgium and Scotland, and that I have had so many soul-serving experiences to show for it. I have laid to rest many of the skeletons that I found there, and brought love, light and peace back into the family that time and I had forgotten.